Lawyering.
Signals that the terms are taken seriously without being pompous about it. Everything here is written to be read, on the reasonable view that small print nobody can read protects nobody.
Everything here.
Lawyering
The terms of using this site and buying from it. Written in English, on the reasonable assumption th…
Snooping
Radical honesty about what we would collect and why. The name is deliberate: naming the imposition m…
Cookies
A small number of cookies to keep a basket upright and work out which pages people read. Nothing sol…
Backing Out
Honest and non-defensive, because a returns page that reads defensively tells you everything about h…
Trundling
The parcel has a journey. Giving it one is more honest than a status bar that says "processing" for …
Carding You
Firm rather than apologetic. Nobody enjoys this, least of all the driver, and it is not optional.…
The Plot Terms
The forward-sale terms, written to be read. This is the most legally consequential page on the site …
Accessibility
WCAG 2.2 AA as a target rather than an aspiration, and an honest account of where it currently falls…
Bothering Us
Invites contact by pretending to discourage it, which is the oldest trick in British politeness and …
Wondering
Softer than "Help", and the place where the questions that arrive every single day get answered once…
Why these are written like this.
A terms page written to be unreadable is a terms page written to be unread, and a term nobody has read is unlikely to be enforceable and certain to be resented.
So: short sentences, plain words, the reason attached to the rule, and the awkward parts stated rather than buried. The plot terms in particular are the most legally consequential page on this site and are therefore the most plainly written.
This is a demonstration build
The Diddly Squat Estate is not affiliated with, authorised or endorsed by Jeremy Clarkson, Diddly Squat, Hawkstone, The Farmer’s Dog, Only Farmers Limited, Expectation Entertainment, Ledbury Productions, Amazon, Penguin or Peepshow Studio. Commerce is a placeholder and no payment is taken anywhere on this site.
If something is unclear.
Ask, and it gets rewritten. That is genuinely how most of these pages reached their current state.
What people actually ask.
The two questions this page gets most, answered without a support ticket.
No. It is a plain-English account of how this build behaves, written to be read rather than survived. It has not been reviewed by a solicitor.
It does not. Every commerce control here is a placeholder and no card details are collected anywhere.
Elsewhere on the estate.
/lawyering/states/
/lawyering/states/
/lawyering/backing-out/
