Snooping.
Radical honesty about what we would collect and why. The name is deliberate: naming the imposition makes consent to it genuinely informed.
The privacy notice
Every section, in plain English.
What a live version of this platform would collect, why, how long it would keep it, and what you could do about it. This build collects nothing beyond what your browser does automatically.
An email address if you gave us one. What you bought, if you bought anything. Which pages you looked at, in aggregate. Nothing else, and nothing inferred about you that you did not tell us.
To send you what you asked for, to fulfil an order, and to work out which pages people actually read. Those are the only three reasons.
The strategic point of this platform is knowing that the person buying a case of lager is the same person who queued for jam. That is simultaneously the most valuable thing here and the biggest compliance exposure, which is why it would need a data protection officer and a proper lawful basis rather than an assumption.
Under UK GDPR you can ask for everything held about you, correct it, delete it, restrict it, take it elsewhere, or object to processing. On a live build all of those would be buttons on the Faffing page rather than an email address that takes a fortnight.
Payment processors, delivery carriers and the email service that actually sends the newsletter. Nobody else, and nothing sold to anybody, ever.
This is not a service for children and we would not knowingly collect data from anybody under thirteen.
Order records for six years, because tax law requires it. Marketing consent until you withdraw it. Everything else for as short a time as is useful.
Written to be read
Not to be survived.
Reasons attached
Every rule says why.
Your rights intact
Nothing here reduces statutory rights.
Ask if unclear
And it gets rewritten.
The short version.
Radical honesty about what we would collect and why. The name is deliberate: naming the imposition makes consent to it genuinely informed.
If any of this is unclear, ask, and it will be rewritten. Several of these pages reached their current wording because somebody said they could not follow the old one.
Everything else in Lawyering.
Ten pages, all written the same way.
A reminder
This is a demonstration build. It is not affiliated with, authorised or endorsed by any of the businesses it describes, and commerce on it is a placeholder that takes no payment.
What people actually ask.
The two questions this page gets most, answered without a support ticket.
In this build, none that leaves your browser. The basket is held in memory and forgotten when the tab closes.
Bothering Us, and we would rather hear it than not.
