There is a real walk. There are very few places on it.
A small number of guided walks a year, on foot, on the actual ground, in groups of twelve. They are gone within a day of going on sale and there is no waiting list, because a waiting list for something this small is a way of disappointing more people rather than fewer.
The next release.
Six walks, twelve places each, seventy-two places in total. Released in one go, at one time, with no early access at any membership tier because seventy-two places cannot be divided into tiers without becoming absurd.
What the real walk is.
The walk
- Length
- 3.4 milesThe same route as this one, in the same order.
- Duration
- About three hoursWhich is considerably longer than fifty minutes, because people ask things.
- Group size
- 12Above that nobody at the back hears anything.
- Walks a year
- 6Two in spring, two at harvest, two in the autumn.
- Total places a year
- 72Against an audience of several million.
- Ground
- Uneven, muddy, one real climbBoots, and not the good ones.
The practicalities
- Release
- One date, one time
- Early access
- NoneAt any tier. Seventy-two places do not divide.
- Waiting list
- NoneIt would disappoint more people, not fewer.
- Transfers
- Yes, to a named personFree, up to a week before.
- Resale
- Not permittedA place resold at a profit gets cancelled.
- If it is called off
- Full refund, or the next dateYour choice, not ours.
This is a demonstration build. The controls on this page are real interface and take no money, because there is no payment processor behind any of it.
What the ticket is, and what it is not.
Included
- Three hours on the actual ground, in a group of twelve
- Somebody who works here, answering things properly
- The whole route, including the bits the cameras do not cover
- A transfer to a named person if you cannot come
Not included
- Any early access at any membership tier
- A waiting list
- Resale at a profit — the place gets cancelled
- Any guarantee of weather, mud levels or the mood of the livestock
Why so few, and why no tiers.
Twelve is the number of people who can hear one person outdoors in a wind without a microphone, and a microphone on a farm walk turns a conversation into a presentation.
Six walks a year is what the farm can absorb without a working week being organised around visitors. That produces seventy-two places against an audience of several million, which is a ratio so absurd that dividing it further by membership tier would be a joke at somebody’s expense.
So it is one release, one time, no early access and no list. Everybody who wants one is in the same position, and almost everybody is disappointed. That is not a good outcome, it is simply the least dishonest one available.
The dates, and what each one is for.
| Window | Walks | What is happening on the ground |
|---|---|---|
| Late April | 2 | Lambing has just finished and the spring barley is up |
| Early August | 2 | Harvest, if the weather has allowed it to start |
| Mid October | 2 | Drilling, and the best light of the year on the wall |
| February | 0 | Nothing organised — but it is the best month to visit the shop |
In short.
72 places a year
Six walks, twelve people each.
No early access
At any tier. The numbers are too small to divide.
No waiting list
It disappoints more people, not fewer.
The same route
Stop for stop, in the same order as the virtual one.
The walk that is always open.
Twelve stops, three and a half miles, no ticket and no mud.
