Loading.
Loading a trailer. It pairs safely with Germinating for the spinner, so the two puns never collide on the same screen.
Nothing in the basket yet.
Which is fine. Fallow is a legitimate state on a farm. Rather less so in a basket, so here is the shop.
How this one behaves.
Live total
Updated as you go, with delivery shown separately rather than sprung at the end.
Age-restricted items flagged
Before checkout, not during it.
Free-delivery threshold
Shown as a distance, not a nag.
Empty state
Fallowing — which on a farm is deliberate.
The design note.
A basket is the highest-intent screen on any shop and it is almost always the ugliest. This one shows the delivery cost before checkout, flags age-restricted lines early, and never hides the total behind a step.
- Live total — Updated as you go, with delivery shown separately rather than sprung at the end.
- Age-restricted items flagged — Before checkout, not during it.
- Free-delivery threshold — Shown as a distance, not a nag.
- Empty state — Fallowing — which on a farm is deliberate.
The other states.
Coughing Up
Blunt about money. Naming the pain reduces cart anxiety rather than increasing it, which is counter-intuitive and well-evidenced.
Shaking On It
A handshake deal, not a transaction receipt. The most under-used screen in e-commerce and the one people actually read.
Germinating
Progress framed as growth, never as a percentage. A percentage that stalls at 94 is worse than no percentage at…
Fallowing
"Nothing growing here yet. On a farm that is deliberate. On a website, less so." Always with exactly one route…
Trespassing
"You have wandered off the footpath." With a map back to the main sections, and the badger — which is…
Cocking Up
Uses Clarkson’s own documented words after the 2023 cider recall — "we completely cocked up". Owning the failure is the…
Straying
"You have lost signal. So has most of Oxfordshire." Which is true, and is the correct tone for a rural…
Breaking Down
A tractor in a field, and an honest estimate. "Back shortly" is not an estimate and everybody knows it.
The whole set.
Fourteen states, each named, each with a rule.
What people actually ask.
The two questions this page gets most, answered without a support ticket.
Where the planning condition applies it is, and we name the maker on the page. Where a line is made further afield — some of the clothing, some of the homeware — we say so rather than fudging it.
Two to five working days by tracked courier, and free over forty pounds. Perishables leave on a Monday or a Tuesday so nothing sits in a depot over a weekend.
