Cleaned Out.
True to the actual queues at the shop and the pub. Four of the five soft toys are permanently in this state.
Gone again, sorry.
It happens with almost everything made in small batches by people who also have other jobs. Leave an email and you will hear first.
How this one behaves.
Says why
Small batches, made by people with other jobs.
Captures the demand
One email field, nothing else.
Suggests an alternative
Something genuinely comparable.
Never a fake countdown
Manufactured scarcity is a lie with a timer on it.
The design note.
A sold-out page is a lead-capture opportunity that most shops waste on a grey badge. It should say why, take an email, and offer one genuine alternative.
- Says why — Small batches, made by people with other jobs.
- Captures the demand — One email field, nothing else.
- Suggests an alternative — Something genuinely comparable.
- Never a fake countdown — Manufactured scarcity is a lie with a timer on it.
The other states.
Loading
Loading a trailer. It pairs safely with Germinating for the spinner, so the two puns never collide on the same…
Coughing Up
Blunt about money. Naming the pain reduces cart anxiety rather than increasing it, which is counter-intuitive and well-evidenced.
Shaking On It
A handshake deal, not a transaction receipt. The most under-used screen in e-commerce and the one people actually read.
Germinating
Progress framed as growth, never as a percentage. A percentage that stalls at 94 is worse than no percentage at…
Fallowing
"Nothing growing here yet. On a farm that is deliberate. On a website, less so." Always with exactly one route…
Trespassing
"You have wandered off the footpath." With a map back to the main sections, and the badger — which is…
Cocking Up
Uses Clarkson’s own documented words after the 2023 cider recall — "we completely cocked up". Owning the failure is the…
Straying
"You have lost signal. So has most of Oxfordshire." Which is true, and is the correct tone for a rural…
The whole set.
Fourteen states, each named, each with a rule.
What people actually ask.
The two questions this page gets most, answered without a support ticket.
Bothering Us, and we would rather hear it than not.
No. It is a plain-English account of how this build behaves, written to be read rather than survived. It has not been reviewed by a solicitor.
