We Completely Cocked Up.
The cider recall, the statement that said exactly that, and why the shortest crisis statement in the file was also the best one.
What it is about.
The statement ran to four words that mattered. Most recall communications run to four hundred and say less, because they are written by people whose main objective is not being blamed.
This episode is a solo one, which is unusual for Wittering, on the grounds that a conversation about an apology tends to turn into a negotiation about how bad the thing really was.
It costs money to recall a product properly and it costs considerably more not to. The numbers on both sides are on the table by about the twenty-minute mark.
Where things are in it.
Timestamps are in the feed as chapter marks, so an app that supports them will let you skip straight to the bit you came for.
What actually happened
Briefly, because the detail is the boring part.
The four words
And why the lawyers did not like them.
What a recall costs
Against what a quiet one costs later.
What changed afterwards
Two process changes, both dull, both correct.
The details.
Episode 04
- Title
- We Completely Cocked Up
- Published
- 23 June 2026Fortnightly, on a Tuesday.
- Length
- 37 min
- Guest
- None — a solo episodeA solo episode, deliberately
- Listens
- 52,117To 30 August 2026.
Access
- Transcript
- Published with the episodeSearchable.
- Download
- YesIt is an audio file.
- Cost
- NothingNo tier, no early access.
- Chapter marks
- YesThe four above, in the feed.
Every broadcast and every episode described here is illustrative. This is an unofficial demonstration build: no recording exists, nothing streams, and no guest named on this site has agreed to anything.
Who is on it.
Nobody, deliberately
A solo episode, deliberately
Wittering
Fortnightly, Tuesdays, no sponsors, and the transcript published with every episode.
Where this goes next.
Almost every episode has a written counterpart, because an argument that only exists in audio is an argument nobody can quote.
The rest of the series.
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The Lemon Problem
A pub where every ingredient is British, and the hour-long argument about a gin and tonic that has no lemon…
What the Drought Cost
A dry year, priced. What it took off the yield, what it added to the input bill, and what it…
Get it in an app.
An ordinary RSS feed, readable by anything, with no exclusive version anywhere.
